How to Ditch Your To Do’s and Start Thinking in Results!??
I have struggled for years feeling like I would always get so close to what I wanted, and then, I don’t know how else to explain it, but I just couldn’t get there.
What the heck was going on?
I could start the engine, but boy oh boy, why was it not taking me across the finish line?
Maybe you can relate. You see the vision, you know what needs to happen (at least most of it), you get it started, then WAMO! Something happens and all this other stuff starts to get in the way.
I mean, sure, it’s kind of important stuff. But none of it ever seems to help you reach your goal. There is just always MORE stuff piling up.
Yesterday morning I was gently reminded this morning that it’s not about a to-do list it’s about a results list.
For most of my life, including most of my adult life so far, I’ve only looked at the tasks in front of me.
AKA the overwhelming mountain that is just about impossible to climb up.
I pondered for a quite some time about the idea of looking at what you want versus what needs to be done.
And was reminded again just yesterday morning, through a morning motivation, that looking at the tasks in front of you as to-do items- already frustrated, complicates things, and build an even bigger mountain.
It’s like: “Someone help me, I’m drowning!”
But here’s the kicker and it’s not fancy. Things don’t change because of external circumstances. Things change because of internal circumstances.
Where instead, if you think about the results that you want to happen in your life. And then ask yourself, what do I need to do to get there?
One small thing at a time.
And stay away from unsupportive people. It’s an energy suck and YES! You will lose momentum.
Your focus is no longer all on the items that you have not yet done.
But on the positive result of that what you want to achieve.
Not to mention how many of us always pick the easiest to do list items and avoid the big ones that are going to push us towards our Dream results anyways?
I know I do this.
Why work on a big project proposal when I can clean the kitchen?
Total transparency… My brain often wants to choose the easier tasks, because then if by chance I fail, I’ve already protected myself from it.
I’ve had to train my brain to just start looking at life this way. To stop sympathizing with the side of me that likes the overwhelm, that validates my frustration with a mounting to do list. And a poor me mentality.
?What do I want?
?What are the results I’m trying to achieve?
?If I keep my eyes focused there, I’m going to stay more positive, and probably make better choices.
Remember this, change is hard. But it’s not impossible. It’s only impossible if you’ve already told yourself it’s going to be…
So today make it a point to physically write out your “Results List”... What do you want!? Keep that list handy and in easy sight. And when you start to engage in tasks, ask yourself “are these tasks, activities moving me towards my end game? Towards what I want most?”
After you write out your Results List reflect on why you want these things in the first place.
I wanted to land a big partner for my Mother Trucker Yoga company. I had one in mind. I thought about that partner all the time. And knew that would be a home run for me. Everything I was doing I was working to gain the notice and respect of that company. Then I landed an opportunity to work with them on a trial basis. I could have felt defeated in that I had to do a lot more than I had thought initially. And it was frustrating at times. It could have been easier to just do the minimum required. And when I got frustrated, I a few times found myself doing things that had nothing to do with landing this partnership.
HOPE WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING! I got so overwhelmed in those moments with other things, that in the end didn’t really matter. And would actually go away, and get handled later if I could land this partnership. But I let myself get distracted by those small tasks. Because achieving those small tasks gave me temporary happiness. Where climbing that mountain towards my BIG WIN, required a bit more grit.
Think results not tasks.
Think results no to do lists.
Think results no instant gratification.
Hey all you goal getters! It’s the #Last90Days!!!
Total honesty, sometimes my personal schedule is a bit lackluster. Sometimes I struggle. I am an ultra-motivated person, but that motivation is usually attached to a #BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal). When I don’t have a BIG goal, my motivation tends to waiver.
I don’t know about you, but without goals, what are you moving towards? And when life gets tough, goals can seem a bit overwhelming. Because, heck, your not reaching them – yet. But that is where it starts. You MUST start to look at those goals as a good thing.
Sure you aren’t there, yet. But that is where you want to go. And by-gosh, you have goals. I can count on both of my hands people that I know who have no set goals in mind. And guess what? They are also frustrated with where their life is. Because they don’t know where they are going.
Today marks the first day of the last 90 days of the year. Yeah, I’m jumping on the #Last90Days challenge. I am usually not that much of a New Years Resolution kinda gal. But where I am in my life right now, I need any boost I can get. And with all my goals, I need, no I must, surround myself with people, places, and motivation so I don’t fall.
It’s the #Last90Days, So I want to know.
- What are your goals?
- What are your motivations?
- What do you want in 90 days?
- Where do you want to go?
This is vital because step one is YOU getting clear.
Like crystal clear.
And I get it. When I don’t believe that I deserve my goal, then you can bet your bottom dollar that I lack motivation. I lack drive. I am less ambitious. And I tend to allow myself to fall into relationships that do not motivate me to reach my goals.
Here are 3 things to ask yourself when setting your goals for the #Last90Days:
- WHO in your life do you need to surround yourself with?
- WHERE do you need to put yourself in your life to reach your goals?
- WHAT programs do you need to invest in to help you meet those goals?
Yes, I just suggested that you might just need to invest in something or someone to help you along the way.
Almost 15 years ago, I had a moment where I finally admitted to myself that I could not do it alone. I could not step fully into recovery the way I wanted to all by myself. I didn’t have all the answers and even more important, I didn’t have all the necessary skill sets to step forward with confidence and accountability to go with it.
Admitting myself into outpatient treatment was one of the best decisions I have ever made to date. Surrounded with others struggling with the same thing helped me feel like I wasn’t alone. And surrounded by others, some of whom didn’t really want it, was also a huge motivator for me to make a change!
The experts who guided me, pushed me, and opened my eyes to new ways of doing things, will have forever impacted me for the better. That one phone call is in part the reason why I am here today, typing this #Last90Days blog post to you all having been in recovery for 14 years.
Now don’t get me wrong. Those 14 years were no walk in the park. But it was my first 90 days of many more to come.
A great mentor told me (more than once) that “You can’t have a tenth time without having a first time”. And you can’t have a day 90, without having a day 1.
I have been in need of a jump start. I mean, I’m fine, but I have been searching for a boost, a bigger push and I can tell my potential is not being met on a daily basis. This morning I woke up thinking about that phone call I made 14 years ago. How scared I was, how nervous I was. How desperate I was to be healthy again.
Laying in bed, I was thinking about why I want to reach my goals. And it occurred to me that my goals, my BHAG’s are not really something I have been sharing with others. I have been keeping almost all of them quiet to myself.
This is a BIG problem. This is the exact reason I struggled for more than five years to step into recovery, because I kept my goals a secret. How can someone support something they don’t know exists? And then this morning I pop on Facebook to respond to a dozen messages or so and on pops Dave Hollis talking about the last 90 days of the year. And I am reminded yet again to get clear on my goals. And only I can decide if I want to meet them or not.
Leave a comment or head over to my Facebook page and drop a note, or post a picture on Instagram and tag me @hopezvara to let me (and the world) know what goals you are working toward before the year is out. We will help keep you accountable!
How can someone support another on their quest to bettering themselves if they don’t know it’s evening happening? #Last90Days
I start out my day with my Green Power Smoothie. Is this one of your goals? Check out my recipe.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Why do I do that? Why do I keep quiet? I’ll tell you, I often get in my own head and judge myself.
Like: “Who is she with those big goals?” “Does she really think she’ll get there?”
Can I save you the suffering? That type of thinking derails even the strongest person.
I recognize that in myself and that is in part why I am writing this blog. That is in part why I am asking you these questions. Because I don’t want to be alone in this quest on the last 90 days.
We can do this.
This is not about being perfect. This is about being honest. Real. And setting yourself up for the success you deserve.
Here are 6 suggestions to help you reach your goals:
1. Write your goals down.
Yes, write those baby’s down. What are they, don’t just type up something and never look at it again. Post it to your office wall, your bedroom door. Bathroom mirror, whatever it takes. I have done this, and actually made an alarm in my phone to once a day ring to remind me what I am shooting for when I know I struggle the most.
2. Offer gratitude.
It is true that an attitude of gratitude will get you further than one without. Every single day write down 1-3 things you are grateful for. Don’t even think about telling me you have no time. This takes all of 45 seconds. And I want to encourage you to do what I do and write down: a person, a place, and a thing (or something to that effect) every single day.
3. Decide who you will surround yourself with.
Yes, this matters- BIG. You become those you choose to surround yourself with. Now I don’t mean that you should never help someone less than you. But my point is if you spend your evenings with people who watch T.V. all night snacking late into the evening, then I can assure you your goals won’t be met. Choose wisely.
4. Be real.
Be real in that this will get hard. Don’t even think for a second that this is going to be a walk in the park. You will have days, challenges, temptations. But you must decide what you want more. Instant gratification, or long-term satisfaction.
5. Write it down.
Get out a journal, a piece of paper, the back of an envelope. Don’t let the what gets in the way of the how. Write down your goals, EVERY SINGLE DAY. Some days you’ll say you are too busy, well then I guess you are too busy for the satisfaction afterwards then too. Those moments where you just don’t want to do it. Remember that is just a feeling, and our brain doesn’t always like change. But like learning to brush your teeth. This is a necessary one.
6. Get the right tools.
Struggle does cost you. I know this first hand. Spending $10 to save a $1 is hardly worth it. What tools do you need to help you reach your goals? You may need to cut down on the Starbucks habit, or the constant trips to Costco. But isn’t reaching your BHAG worth it? That is why I started my Online Mindful Movement & Yoga Studio. Affordable. Easy. Quality Teaching. BOOM!
Today’s the DAY!
Today marks the decision you must make within yourself. Do I want it enough? Here’s some tough love. I don’t care about all the reasons why it’s hard, or impossible, or how your situation is so unique from everyone else. I’m empathetic, but also realistic in that we all have challenges and no one is unique to that. But it is those that push past that and find a way.
Do you want it?
Do you want to find a way or not?
Do you want to celebrate after reaching the goal or not?
Do you want to have a better life and future or not?
Do you want it or not?
Don’t take this the wrong way, I’m saying all of this to myself. I am writing all of this to myself. I need to hear this. I refuse to stay still. I refuse to watch someone else live my dreams. I refuse to live in regret.
And I want that for you too.
Together let’s not just want it. Let’s go out and get it.