How to step into something new…
I can’t believe it’s November already.
>>This past year has been one of a kind.
>>This past year has been one for the books.
>>This past year has been a good one…for me.
Last year I decided that no matter what I did, what I stepped into, what came my way, I was going to approach it with a good attitude and a never give up mentality.
It’s November and I don’t think we say it enough…
I’m proud of myself.
*Proud of myself for doing new things.
*Proud of myself for stepping into unknown territories.
*Proud of myself for doing things even when I didn’t want to do them.
Here’s what I’ve learned…
Thinking about doing something new is only step one… Well, it’s more like a Pre-Step, like Pre-Kindergarten.
And then it’s deciding to pull the trigger. But I’ve discovered that there cannot be ANY doubt in your mind that what you are about to do is wrong, not going to work, a bad idea.
I’ve been working really hard this past year on catching myself immediately when I see ANY doubt creep And when it does I noticed one thing…
If your decision you are about to pull the trigger on is DIFFERENT IN ANY WAY get ready for doubts, a struggle, or an internal debate that it’s not going to work.
This realization was KEY in my pressing on.
And I want to share that with all of you today.
If you want things to change, get better, be different (call it what you want) you NEED it to be uncomfortable or at least have that feeling for a moment that’s your signal that you are stepping into uncharted territory.
AND THAT IS A GOOD THING.
I was nervous the night before I got married. I knew I wanted to marry my husband and had known I was going to marry him since the 8th grade.
That night looking at myself in my bathroom mirror, I had a wave of doubt run through me if this was the right decision.
But I knew that the doubt I was feeling was nerves from something new, the unknown.
And because I pressed on, we’ve been married for 14 years, have 3 amazing kids, and built a life we love.
>>>>>When you get to the edge of what is familiar you have a choice.
Go back into your typical patterns and stay exactly where you are…. Or press on.
*Press on even when it’s hard.
*Press on even when you don’t want to.
*Press on even when your decisions don’t fit into the status quo.
You guys I created my own pain relief cream. Not a cream I’m filling in my garage.
Like my own REAL product. (Find out about STIFF Mother Trucker Pain Relief Cream)
How did this happen?
I made a decision I wanted to do this and every step after that decision was made I did not like my old thinking or learned feelings and responses derail me from the goal.
To step into something new:
I took risk.
A lot of risk.
I invested my own money.
And now have to pick up the phone and call people.
Ask others for support and help and put me out there every single day with the chance others may not like me.
But I know and choose to never let doubt and negativity loom in my mind for longer than it takes to think that thought even for a second.
It’s exhausting to be on yourself like a bloodhound hunting in the woods. Constantly calling yourself out on thoughts, beliefs, and actions most don’t even see happening.
But now almost a year later of this diligent practice. I’m bearing fruit (I had a lot of internal negative self-talk to work through).
I see those periods of discomfort as markers I’m moving in the right direction and mentally stop and breathe, think, and feel the positive outcome. Where before things not working out always loomed in my mind.
THAT WAS MY ISSUE.
I was doing all the right things but when I got to the edges of my familiarity I was canceling out all my efforts with my internal dialogue, thoughts, and intentions.
I created a pain-relief cream!
I created the BEST online program I have ever built!
I coach business clients who want to hear what I have to say!
I get to work with people I never thought possible!
I share this not to brag, but to hopefully inspire you. I did this.
To step into something new:
*I allowed myself the right to think bigger than what I was.
*I allowed myself to dream bigger than I thought I was allowed to.
*I allowed myself to be bold despite the negativity would come up against.
You can do this.
You can step out.
You can get there.
Stop saying 2020 is horrible.
It’s different and that’s that.
Figure out a way.
Stop using 2020 as a reason to stay where you are.
I know this might not be what you want to hear. But it’s the truth.
I saw 2020 as the best time to step up my game and reach for more. Even when most of the signs around me said it was a bad idea.
What can you do today?
I’d love to hear about it.
Hey all you goal getters! It’s the #Last90Days!!!
Total honesty, sometimes my personal schedule is a bit lackluster. Sometimes I struggle. I am an ultra-motivated person, but that motivation is usually attached to a #BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal). When I don’t have a BIG goal, my motivation tends to waiver.
I don’t know about you, but without goals, what are you moving towards? And when life gets tough, goals can seem a bit overwhelming. Because, heck, your not reaching them – yet. But that is where it starts. You MUST start to look at those goals as a good thing.
Sure you aren’t there, yet. But that is where you want to go. And by-gosh, you have goals. I can count on both of my hands people that I know who have no set goals in mind. And guess what? They are also frustrated with where their life is. Because they don’t know where they are going.
Today marks the first day of the last 90 days of the year. Yeah, I’m jumping on the #Last90Days challenge. I am usually not that much of a New Years Resolution kinda gal. But where I am in my life right now, I need any boost I can get. And with all my goals, I need, no I must, surround myself with people, places, and motivation so I don’t fall.
It’s the #Last90Days, So I want to know.
- What are your goals?
- What are your motivations?
- What do you want in 90 days?
- Where do you want to go?
This is vital because step one is YOU getting clear.
Like crystal clear.
And I get it. When I don’t believe that I deserve my goal, then you can bet your bottom dollar that I lack motivation. I lack drive. I am less ambitious. And I tend to allow myself to fall into relationships that do not motivate me to reach my goals.
Here are 3 things to ask yourself when setting your goals for the #Last90Days:
- WHO in your life do you need to surround yourself with?
- WHERE do you need to put yourself in your life to reach your goals?
- WHAT programs do you need to invest in to help you meet those goals?
Yes, I just suggested that you might just need to invest in something or someone to help you along the way.
Almost 15 years ago, I had a moment where I finally admitted to myself that I could not do it alone. I could not step fully into recovery the way I wanted to all by myself. I didn’t have all the answers and even more important, I didn’t have all the necessary skill sets to step forward with confidence and accountability to go with it.
Admitting myself into outpatient treatment was one of the best decisions I have ever made to date. Surrounded with others struggling with the same thing helped me feel like I wasn’t alone. And surrounded by others, some of whom didn’t really want it, was also a huge motivator for me to make a change!
The experts who guided me, pushed me, and opened my eyes to new ways of doing things, will have forever impacted me for the better. That one phone call is in part the reason why I am here today, typing this #Last90Days blog post to you all having been in recovery for 14 years.
Now don’t get me wrong. Those 14 years were no walk in the park. But it was my first 90 days of many more to come.
A great mentor told me (more than once) that “You can’t have a tenth time without having a first time”. And you can’t have a day 90, without having a day 1.
I have been in need of a jump start. I mean, I’m fine, but I have been searching for a boost, a bigger push and I can tell my potential is not being met on a daily basis. This morning I woke up thinking about that phone call I made 14 years ago. How scared I was, how nervous I was. How desperate I was to be healthy again.
Laying in bed, I was thinking about why I want to reach my goals. And it occurred to me that my goals, my BHAG’s are not really something I have been sharing with others. I have been keeping almost all of them quiet to myself.
This is a BIG problem. This is the exact reason I struggled for more than five years to step into recovery, because I kept my goals a secret. How can someone support something they don’t know exists? And then this morning I pop on Facebook to respond to a dozen messages or so and on pops Dave Hollis talking about the last 90 days of the year. And I am reminded yet again to get clear on my goals. And only I can decide if I want to meet them or not.
Leave a comment or head over to my Facebook page and drop a note, or post a picture on Instagram and tag me @hopezvara to let me (and the world) know what goals you are working toward before the year is out. We will help keep you accountable!
How can someone support another on their quest to bettering themselves if they don’t know it’s evening happening? #Last90Days
I start out my day with my Green Power Smoothie. Is this one of your goals? Check out my recipe.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Why do I do that? Why do I keep quiet? I’ll tell you, I often get in my own head and judge myself.
Like: “Who is she with those big goals?” “Does she really think she’ll get there?”
Can I save you the suffering? That type of thinking derails even the strongest person.
I recognize that in myself and that is in part why I am writing this blog. That is in part why I am asking you these questions. Because I don’t want to be alone in this quest on the last 90 days.
We can do this.
This is not about being perfect. This is about being honest. Real. And setting yourself up for the success you deserve.
Here are 6 suggestions to help you reach your goals:
1. Write your goals down.
Yes, write those baby’s down. What are they, don’t just type up something and never look at it again. Post it to your office wall, your bedroom door. Bathroom mirror, whatever it takes. I have done this, and actually made an alarm in my phone to once a day ring to remind me what I am shooting for when I know I struggle the most.
2. Offer gratitude.
It is true that an attitude of gratitude will get you further than one without. Every single day write down 1-3 things you are grateful for. Don’t even think about telling me you have no time. This takes all of 45 seconds. And I want to encourage you to do what I do and write down: a person, a place, and a thing (or something to that effect) every single day.
3. Decide who you will surround yourself with.
Yes, this matters- BIG. You become those you choose to surround yourself with. Now I don’t mean that you should never help someone less than you. But my point is if you spend your evenings with people who watch T.V. all night snacking late into the evening, then I can assure you your goals won’t be met. Choose wisely.
4. Be real.
Be real in that this will get hard. Don’t even think for a second that this is going to be a walk in the park. You will have days, challenges, temptations. But you must decide what you want more. Instant gratification, or long-term satisfaction.
5. Write it down.
Get out a journal, a piece of paper, the back of an envelope. Don’t let the what gets in the way of the how. Write down your goals, EVERY SINGLE DAY. Some days you’ll say you are too busy, well then I guess you are too busy for the satisfaction afterwards then too. Those moments where you just don’t want to do it. Remember that is just a feeling, and our brain doesn’t always like change. But like learning to brush your teeth. This is a necessary one.
6. Get the right tools.
Struggle does cost you. I know this first hand. Spending $10 to save a $1 is hardly worth it. What tools do you need to help you reach your goals? You may need to cut down on the Starbucks habit, or the constant trips to Costco. But isn’t reaching your BHAG worth it? That is why I started my Online Mindful Movement & Yoga Studio. Affordable. Easy. Quality Teaching. BOOM!
Today’s the DAY!
Today marks the decision you must make within yourself. Do I want it enough? Here’s some tough love. I don’t care about all the reasons why it’s hard, or impossible, or how your situation is so unique from everyone else. I’m empathetic, but also realistic in that we all have challenges and no one is unique to that. But it is those that push past that and find a way.
Do you want it?
Do you want to find a way or not?
Do you want to celebrate after reaching the goal or not?
Do you want to have a better life and future or not?
Do you want it or not?
Don’t take this the wrong way, I’m saying all of this to myself. I am writing all of this to myself. I need to hear this. I refuse to stay still. I refuse to watch someone else live my dreams. I refuse to live in regret.
And I want that for you too.
Together let’s not just want it. Let’s go out and get it.