I recently went to Mexico with my husband of 20 years.
Outside of work trips, we haven’t gone on a vacation alone since our honeymoon.
So I guess you could say it was LONG overdue.
And as usually happens when I step away from my normal environment, I came home with a lot of thoughts floating around in my head.
There’s something about getting out of your routine that gives you space to look at your life a little differently.
You notice things.
You question things.
You hear thoughts that may have been buried underneath the noise of everyday life.
One phrase I keep coming back to lately is:
“Make the next right decision.”
It’s definitely up for interpretation, but it has become a pretty powerful mantra for me.
Especially right now.
Because I’m raising teenagers.
And I’m watching them enter that strange stage of life where everyone suddenly starts asking:
“What are you going to do?”
What are you going to do after high school?
Where are you going to go?
What are you going to study?
What do you want to be?
Where are you going to live?
What are you going to do with your LIFE?
Holy crap.
You’re 18 years old, and suddenly it feels like you’re being asked to make decisions that will determine the next 60 years of your existence.
No wonder kids freeze.
But really, don’t we adults do the exact same thing?
We Want to Know the Whole Plan
Should I stay in this job?
Should I start the business?
Should I keep pursuing this project?
Should I change careers?
Should I keep pushing?
Should I finally let something go?
What if I choose wrong?
What if I regret it?
What if I waste time?
What if I fail?
Sometimes the fear of making the wrong decision becomes so overwhelming that we make no decision at all.
And that’s where I’ve been thinking about something that sounds simple but can be incredibly powerful:
Not making a decision is still a decision.
You are deciding to stay where you are.
You are deciding not to apply.
You are deciding not to make the phone call.
You are deciding to give it more time.
You are deciding to wait.
And sometimes, waiting absolutely is the next right decision.
I’ve written about that before.
There are seasons where I believe God is asking us to be patient, stop forcing something, and allow it to unfold.
But there are also times when we’re calling something “waiting” when really we’re just scared to make a decision.
So maybe the better question isn’t simply:
“Should I make a decision?”
Maybe it’s:
“Is NOT making a decision the next right decision?”
Oof.
Because that changes things a little, doesn’t it?
When You Feel Frozen
My husband and I have both had periods in our lives where we’ve felt frozen.
Frozen in a job.
Frozen in a career path.
Frozen in a business.
Frozen in a project.
Sometimes the future felt so blurry that we couldn’t clearly see which direction to go.
And when you can’t see very far ahead, there’s a temptation to just stay put.
Do nothing.
Wait for clarity.
Wait for certainty.
Wait until you know exactly what you’re supposed to do.
Looking back, I think the idea of making the next right decision would have been incredibly helpful during some of those seasons.
Not because it would have magically given us the answer.
But because it would have reminded us that:
We didn’t need the whole answer in order to keep moving forward.
We just needed the next one.
You Don’t Need the Whole Answer
Maybe the next right decision wasn’t quitting the job tomorrow.
Maybe it was updating the résumé.
Maybe it wasn’t changing careers.
Maybe it was taking a class, talking to someone in another field, or exploring what else was out there.
Maybe it wasn’t shutting down the business.
Maybe it was looking honestly at what wasn’t working.
Maybe it wasn’t committing to something for the next ten years.
Maybe it was committing to trying it for the next six months.
That’s what I love about this idea.
You don’t have to figure out everything today, but you do need to be willing to make the next decision.
You don’t need to know where you’ll be five years from now.
You don’t need to know where you’ll be a year from now.
Heck, sometimes you don’t even know what life is going to look like six weeks from now.
But you can ask yourself:
“With what I know today, what is the next right decision I can make?”
Suddenly, life becomes a little simpler.
Not necessarily easier.
But simpler.
When Did the Future Become So Scary?
I’ve been wondering about this lately.
When did thinking about our future become so scary?
When you’re little and someone asks what you want to be when you grow up, you’ll confidently say you’re going to be a veterinarian, dancer, firefighter, astronaut, teacher, or maybe all five.
There isn’t this massive fear attached to it.
You simply imagine.
You dream.
You explore.
Then somewhere along the way, dreaming turns into deciding.
And deciding starts feeling permanent.
Suddenly, one choice feels like it determines everything.
One degree.
One job.
One relationship.
One business decision.
One move.
One opportunity.
And we start believing that if we choose wrong, we’ve ruined everything.
But that’s not how life works.
Your First Decision Doesn’t Have to Be Your Final Decision
Sometimes the first decision simply gives you the information you need to make the second one.
You take the class and realize you love it.
Or you hate it.
Both are information.
You take the job and discover something about yourself.
You start the project and realize it needs to evolve.
You pursue one direction and discover another along the way.
It wasn’t necessarily a wrong decision just because it wasn’t the final destination.
This is something I wish we taught young people more.
Changing direction doesn’t automatically mean you chose wrong.
Sometimes changing direction means you learned something.
Sometimes you discover that something isn’t for you.
Sometimes you realize you want something different.
Sometimes the experience itself gives you information you couldn’t have gotten by sitting still.
Parenting Is Teaching Kids to Decide for Themselves
With an 18-year-old and a 16-year-old, these conversations are VERY real in our house right now.
And adulthood, no matter how much you candy-coat it, can be hard.
There will be struggle.
There will be decisions they get right.
There will be decisions they don’t.
There are things about life I can’t possibly explain to them because sometimes you have to experience something before you can understand it.
As a parent, that’s a hard pill to swallow.
Because I want to help.
I want to save them time.
I want to hand them the answers I’ve spent decades collecting.
I want to say:
“Trust me. Don’t do THAT.”
But I’m beginning to realize something.
My job isn’t to make the next right decision for them.
My job is to help them develop the tools to recognize it for themselves.
And THAT is a completely different kind of parenting.
From Decision Maker to Guide
When they’re little, so much of parenting is deciding for them.
What they eat.
Where they go.
What time they go to bed.
What they can and can’t do.
You make decisions because they aren’t capable of making them yet.
Then slowly, almost without you realizing it, the job changes.
You move from:
Decision maker
to
Guide.
And maybe one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids isn’t a perfectly mapped-out future.
Maybe it’s the confidence to know they can:
- Make a decision.
- Learn from it.
- Change their mind.
- Ask for help.
- Course correct.
- Keep going.
Because that’s actually adulthood.
I’m Teaching My Kids Something I’m Still Practicing
Here’s where this gets really interesting for me.
I’m trying to teach my kids something I’m still practicing myself.
I have projects I’m unsure about.
Business opportunities I’m waiting on.
Things I’ve worked incredibly hard on that haven’t unfolded exactly when or how I thought they would.
There are moments when I wonder:
“Am I still supposed to be doing this?”
And I’d LOVE for God to send me a detailed five-year strategic plan.
Preferably color-coded.
With deadlines.
Clear instructions.
Maybe even a nice little spreadsheet.
So far, no luck. 🙂
Instead, I keep coming back to the same question I’m asking my kids:
What’s the next right decision?
Not the perfect decision.
Not the decision that guarantees success.
Not the decision everyone else understands.
The next right one.
What Could the Next Right Decision Look Like?
Maybe it’s making the phone call you’ve been avoiding.
Maybe it’s applying for the job.
Maybe it’s taking the class.
Maybe it’s having the uncomfortable conversation.
Maybe it’s staying with something a little longer.
Maybe it’s finally admitting something isn’t working.
Maybe it’s taking better care of your body.
Maybe it’s asking for help.
Maybe it’s setting a boundary.
Maybe it’s starting something you’ve been talking yourself out of.
And yes, sometimes the next right decision might be to wait.
But make sure you’re actually choosing to wait.
Don’t allow fear to make the decision for you and then call it patience.
There’s a difference.
Waiting and Avoiding Aren’t Always the Same Thing
Sometimes waiting is wise.
Sometimes there genuinely isn’t enough information yet.
Sometimes circumstances need time to unfold.
Sometimes forcing an outcome only creates more confusion.
But sometimes we’re waiting because we’re afraid.
We’re afraid of failing.
We’re afraid of being judged.
We’re afraid of making the wrong choice.
We’re afraid that once we move, we can’t go back.
That’s when the question becomes incredibly important:
“Is waiting truly my next right decision, or am I afraid to make one?”
That question requires honesty.
And sometimes the honest answer is uncomfortable.
But it can also be freeing.
Clarity Often Comes After Movement
We keep waiting to feel 100% certain before taking a step.
But sometimes taking the step is precisely what gives us the information we need to know what comes next.
You take the class.
You learn something.
You get information.
You make another decision.
You start the project.
You see what works.
You discover what doesn’t.
You make another decision.
You have the conversation.
You learn where the other person stands.
You make another decision.
You apply for the job.
You find out whether the opportunity is actually right for you.
You make another decision.
Movement creates information.
And sometimes information creates clarity.
Stop Expecting Yourself to Predict Your Entire Life
At 18, the question might be:
“What do I want to do after high school?”
At 30:
“Is this really the career I want?”
At 40:
“Is the life I’ve built still the life I want?”
At 50:
“What do I want this next chapter to look like?”
And somewhere along the way, you may look around and realize some things still fit beautifully while others need to evolve.
That’s normal.
Life changes.
You change.
Your priorities change.
Your circumstances change.
Your dreams change.
Your understanding of yourself changes.
Maybe we’re not supposed to figure everything out once and then never question it again.
The Goal Isn’t to Figure It All Out
Maybe the goal isn’t to predict your entire life correctly.
Maybe the goal is to become someone you trust to navigate it.
That’s what I want for my kids.
And honestly, that’s what I want for myself.
I don’t need to know exactly where every road leads before I’m willing to take it.
I need enough awareness to recognize what feels right today.
Enough courage to move.
Enough humility to admit when something isn’t working.
Enough willingness to ask for help.
And enough faith to trust that I can make another decision tomorrow.
You Can Always Course Correct
One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that every decision is permanent.
It isn’t.
You can change direction.
You can learn.
You can adjust.
You can start again.
You can admit you were wrong.
You can decide something that felt right five years ago no longer fits today.
You can close one door and explore another.
That’s not necessarily failure.
That’s being human.
The ability to course correct is one of the most valuable skills we can develop.
What If You Get It Wrong?
You might.
I might.
Our kids will.
Everyone will.
There will be decisions that don’t work out the way we hoped.
There will be opportunities we miss.
There will be choices we wish we’d made differently.
But one decision doesn’t have to define your entire life.
Sometimes you learn.
Sometimes you repair.
Sometimes you change direction.
Sometimes you begin again.
And sometimes the decision that initially felt like a mistake gives you information that eventually leads you somewhere you wouldn’t have reached otherwise.
That’s why I don’t think the goal should be finding a perfect decision.
The goal is learning how to make thoughtful decisions with the information you have.
Trust Yourself Enough to Take the Next Step
If you’re reading this and feeling stuck in a job, a relationship, a business, your health, your family, or simply wondering what your next chapter is supposed to look like, maybe stop asking yourself to figure out something that isn’t knowable yet.
Instead, ask:
“With everything I know today, what is the next right decision I can make?”
Maybe the answer will be obvious.
Maybe it won’t.
Maybe you need more information.
Maybe you need to talk to someone.
Maybe you need to pray.
Maybe you need to rest.
Maybe you need to move.
Maybe you need to wait.
All of those can be valid.
The important part is that you are consciously choosing rather than allowing fear to quietly choose for you.
Trust God With the Part You Can’t See
For me, faith is part of this.
I don’t believe I’m supposed to have every answer.
I don’t believe I need to know every turn in the road before I take the next step.
Sometimes I have to trust that God sees what I can’t.
That doesn’t mean sitting back and doing nothing.
It means doing what I can with what I know today and trusting God with what I don’t.
That’s a different kind of peace.
Not the peace of having everything figured out.
The peace of knowing I don’t have to.
Maybe This Is How We Build a Life
Maybe we build a life one decision at a time.
One conversation.
One opportunity.
One change.
One lesson.
One mistake.
One course correction.
One brave step.
One season of waiting.
Then another decision.
And another.
Not by seeing the entire road ahead of us.
But by becoming brave enough to take the next right step when only a few feet of the road are visible.
That’s where I am right now.
That’s what I’m trying to teach my kids.
And honestly, that’s what I’m trying to practice myself.
Make the next right decision.
Not the perfect one.
Not the forever one.
Not the one that guarantees everything will work out.
Just the next right one.
And then trust God with the part you can’t see yet.
So, What’s Your Next Right Decision?
Maybe you’ve been waiting for clarity.
Maybe you’ve been waiting for permission.
Maybe you’ve been waiting until you’re certain.
Maybe you’ve been afraid to make the wrong choice.
Maybe you’ve been calling it patience when deep down you know it’s fear.
Take a moment.
Get quiet.
Look honestly at what you know today.
Then ask yourself:
What is the next right decision I can make?
And if your answer is:
“I’m not going to do anything yet.”
That’s okay too.
Just ask one more question:
“Is waiting truly my next right decision, or am I afraid to make one?”
Then trust yourself enough to answer honestly.
Because maybe that’s how we build a life.
Not by knowing exactly where every road leads.
But by becoming someone who can navigate whatever comes next.
One decision at a time.
One step at a time.
One season at a time.
And trusting God with the road we can’t see yet.
Hope
You May Also Like
Why Intuition Is Your Most Underrated Business Tool
Learn how intuitive leadership improves clarity and decision-making in complex environments.
🔗 https://hopezvara.com/why-intuition-is-your-most-underrated-business-tool
🌐 https://hbr.org/2022/03/how-to-stop-overthinking-and-start-trusting-your-gut
From Burnout to Breakthrough: Wellness Habits That Actually Stick
Explore how nervous system regulation supports sustainable leadership performance.
🔗 https://hopezvara.com/from-burnout-to-breakthrough-wellness-habits-that-actually-stick
🌐 https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/basics/stress-basics/hlv-20049495
The Hidden Power of Breathwork for Entrepreneurs
Discover why breathwork is a foundational tool for regulated leadership.
🔗 https://hopezvara.com/the-hidden-power-of-breathwork-for-entrepreneurs
🌐 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6137615/
Creating a Morning Routine That Aligns With Your Purpose
Learn how intentional rituals support heart-centered leadership.
🔗 https://hopezvara.com/creating-a-morning-routine-that-aligns-with-your-purpose
🌐 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/habit-formation