I often look at my life in its current state and like anyone, I see where it can be better and I can do better, and work harder. I am not someone who will just sit and wait, that being said, I very much agree with allowing things to happen in your life, not to force them prematurely before it’s your time.
Within my own being and my own meditation and time of commune with nature and my higher consciousness, I often ponder and ask how this combination makes sense, when I think about this dynamic out loud, it kind of sounds like I am a crazy person not knowing what I want or what is the right next step.
But let me try to draw you more clarity on my findings.
You are looking for a new job, now being bum and not going out and doing the leg work, just letting or having others do it for you, will not get you the job. Just as much as trying so hard that you actually end up getting in your own way from the job you are looking for. I have this conversation in my head (yes I talk to myself) a lot that it’s a balance between allowing the Universe to give you what is waiting for you and actually putting in effort for the fruits of your labors.
I have children and if I want them to grow up and become respectable peoples in society and go for their dreams, and listen to their hearts, know what hard work is and how to be self-sufficient then I as their mother need to display that to them now. I look at my own children and on a larger scale at my students and teachers at Copper Tree and I have to work hard and keep a balance in check as to my actions and behaviors, I am not perfect but my yogic lifestyle teaches me that it’s ok to admit when I am wrong and to learn from my mistakes rather than try to cover them up or just flat out have someone else do that in which I am capable of and should myself.
For the last ten years I have worked incredible hard not only to move my career forward but to keep moving on the road of recovery. And as you and me both journey down this road (we are all recovering from something, right) it is important to realize this necessary balance. Every once in a while I get frustrated with how my life is moving and I look out and wish for a moment that I would have someone doing all the work for me. But then my inner voice speaks up and says that is no way to trying get where you are going and have karma be on your side.
Let’s be real, life is not always easy, but life is also the most easiest and enjoyable, if you can learn and master the way of the road. This crazy dynamic of comfortable yet challenged in an asana pose is a perfect metaphor for how it is we (in my opinion and experience) should live life. Learning to be happy and content with where you are, simply in this very moment, but understanding that it is not an excuse for you not to be active in your life and work to be better, dig deeper and try harder. Just as much as never allowing yourself to stop to be in the moment (which is why we meditate, and slow the asana flow down, to be in our bodies and feel) will not get you the happiness you are searching for.
Are you trying so hard you are spinning your wheels, because if that is you, then I want to encourage you to step back for just a moment and look out at what is going on, are you putting all your energies in the right direction, what are you neglecting, what are you trying to make work or prove that it’s the right way?
I like to think that my husband and I have a very good relationship, we may not always agree on things or see the order of operations they same way, but we are both willing stop and reflect; I am simply more conscious of his needs and efforts as well as his point of view and hopefully him of mine. We seek to find a balance and each day have to consciously work to not force, we have no room or sitting around and having others do our lives for us, but equally we both have to make sure we are putting our efforts into the things that ultimately matter.
So back to my initial thought, take a few minutes today and just take an honest look at how you are living, who you are blaming, what you are avoiding or trying to escape from, sometimes we have this big elephant in the room and instead of just being uncomfortable for just a short amount of time while we tackle the big elephant and then move on we decide to keep dancing around the elephant, doing all sorts of other tasks and activities to make us feel like we can then justify our elephant dance.
Where are you putting in effort and where do you need to back off? Where are you forcing and where could you offer up a bit more allowing? For me, much of my life was pushing off onto others that which I needed to do myself, so my growth was delayed MEGA delayed, because I convinced the people around me to enable me, feel sorry for me and I basically got them to help me stay stuck. This type of reflection can only be done if you are ready, only if you choose to see will you see how you are actually living your life.
That being said, just know, sometimes it’s just not our time yet, so we need to learn to be patient and in our body and in the moment with what is offered. And while we are waiting we can work hard and be the best advocate for what else needs to be done in the mean time so that when life says OK we also say OK.
Yoga has taught me to take 150% responsibility of my life and the things and people in it. How I react to something is a direct relation to my choices prior. I choose to not get out of bed earlier then I have to accept that my kids may be rushed and not move as fast as I need them to, and I may be late. Is it their fault that they won’t put on their shoes or are eating slowly, and then I’m late and they are maybe even crying? No, it’s my fault, my learning lesson, I put them in that position and I set myself up for those behaviors and reactions. I make mistakes and don’t always plan appropriately but what yoga has taught me is that I take 150% responsibility and I stop blaming (something I was very good at), and start making change. I am OK with the outcome because I know better for tomorrow, I will not just sit at wait for something to come, especially if that means that life just passes me by. I will work to not try so hard, and when I feel frustrated it’s usually because I am forcing something that isn’t in right order. Don’t blame others, when I find myself doing that I remind myself that I am simply be a coward to my own personal being. How does that help me or anyone else grow?
So today seek balance in your efforts and that which you allow the Universe to do for you. Seek honesty in your actions and reactions towards life, your actions and the actions of others. You can only help others if they truly want to be helped and you can only change in your own personal being if you truly TRULY want to change.